From Catastrophizing to Trusting: Tips for settling the tornado of worry
Are you a time traveler? I am. Oh how I have traveled into future scenarios driven by worries regarding my children, their health, my own health and wellbeing. Catastrophizing is a normal part of being human and of parenting. We all do it to varying extents and it serves as a protective mechanism. When we do it we are trying out various scenarios as a way to “prepare for the worst.” It’s not very effective but its a way we try to protect ourselves or children from suffering. In psychology it's called cognitive distortion.
So what’s really going on when we are catastrophizing about a scenario, behavior or symptom? Our logical brain may know that a scenario is unlikely to happen- but at this point when we are experiencing fear, anxiety or panic, it’s not our logical brain that is in control. And that is why just telling our brain that it’s being illogical won’t work. What you really need is SOOTHING. You cannot shame or force your way out of catastrophizing. You have to soothe your way out. Soothing looks different for every person. Here are three powerful ways to soothe your way out of catastrophizing.
Write down all your worries on a piece of paper. Don’t hold back, just let it rip. Let those gremlin voices talk.
2. Write down or verbalize what the best possible outcome of the scenario is? Most often we spend lots of time thinking about the worst possible outcome or what we don’t want to happen and we totally forget about what we do want to happen.
3. Do things that help you stay in the present moment. Usually things that involve the physical body are going to help the most to move through a stressful time such as a walk, a bath, stretching, dancing, yoga, biking, art or playing music etc.
In this YouTube interview I talk with Emily Hughes, a conscious parenting coach of Finding Flow Parenting, my friend and colleague about why we catastrophize and what practical skills we can learn to de-escalate ourselves.
